Human Being and Being Human, two sides of the same coin.

In this article I am focusing on some crucial aspects ranging from human behaviour to mindfulness. It is of the utmost importance that before we achieve something in life we must have a strong clarity about ourselves. But today most of us are running after goals blindly. Majority of our goals are just a reflection from an existing reality which we fell in love with for a variety of reasons, some for power, some for money and some for fame etc. True clarity can only be achieved when we are ready to unlearn and learn a lot of stuff in our life. I will begin with a small story. During my childhood days I used to spend a lot of time analysing and questioning all those stuffs happening around me so much that I used to reach a point where I would get bewildered. But more than anything the questions that took root in me were mostly about the self and human behaviour. I was also a kid who used to get frequently hurt either by my friends or my teachers for the most stupid reasons one could think of. I got slapped in my face once for not having a pencil to write. I hope I don’t need to explain anything further. I was so fragile in every ways that I used to be a punching bag for teachers who were frustrated with their own problems. Every day used to be a disaster in school. There were extreme times when I would cry and tell my parents I don’t want to go to school ever again because all I got was sufferings. Most of the private schools I had attended those days were very harsh and were trying to increase their reputation and standard by forcing themselves on children in all the wrong ways possible. The Funny thing was, the only reason I used to attend the school was because whatever happens dad was always there to my rescue. Dad would wreck havoc on anyone who laid a finger on me for unnecessary reasons. These things always made me think about how the people who we look up to as well as the system which we have been following have been stooping so low. Hence I always gave very much importance to emotional intelligence in one’s life beginning from my childhood. I understood that only when there emotional intelligence is high we will be able to treat our fellow beings with love and care. Feeling what another being goes through, whether it is a human or an animal is by nature the most divine quality that can help us create a better world for ourself and others. Just imagine a beautiful world where everyone is trying to understand each other and acting accordingly. Never ever be a slave to your own mind and ideologies. Whatever is being thrown to you by your intelligence, make sure to reflect on it very carefully. When I saw people hurting people, abusing each other, spreading hatred, those who were helpless being tortured I always had a question in my mind. Why? What is the younger generation going to learn from these so called grown ups who are wrecking havoc on this planet ? Today people try to avoid these situations not by pure acceptance, but by tolerance. Tolerance should not be the goal. Acceptance should be the goal. This is one of the reasons why I am always emphasising on topics related to self reflection and being conscious . Because when we are completely aware of this life and our self in its true essence, the basic building block required to build a world filled with peace and happiness is established. Recently when I saw people routing for racial unity it was a very inspiring moment but at the same time I also thought to myself that after all these years we are still facing the same issues, not only regarding racial discrimination but also discrimination in the form of caste, creed, religion, politics, profession, status, power, finance and many more. This is a clear indication that only the technology has advanced and not us. Only the outer world has developed and not the world that lies within us. We are a bunch of living beings trying to make the outer world as much advanced, superior and comfortable as possible before fixing ourselves first. We are all going to unite only when we are sane enough to try and understand the essence of this life in the right way, The only way we can speed up this process is by raising the future generation in the right direction. And when our perception of this very life unites as a result of self realisation, we are not only going to take care of our own kind but also every other living beings on this planet. I might get perceived as over confident about my thoughts on unity. But what matters here is being responsible.

“We must find and destroy all the negative traits within us for the future generation to prosper, because we are going to be the core programmers of their identity for a certain period of time”

If you try to keep yourself away from all kinds of distractions and thoughts for a few hours and be purely aware of your self and the surroundings, whatever method it is you choose a lot can change in you over the course of time. You will understand that this experience of being human is a blessing. But sadly we don’t care and take it for granted. What is the big deal in being a human, right? Billions of humans on this planet. What difference does it make, right? We all want to be something unique which will set us apart from everyone. Therefore the question of what we are never made much importance to us. Through out the history of this planet humans have been discriminating and exploiting other living beings just the way humans are discriminating and exploiting their own kind in terms of whatever aspects humans are inclined towards, We eat that which is helpless, pet that which is cute. Just because creatures are helpless in terms of growth of mind and body, we ought to see them as lower beings and act like we own them. No wonder humans are doing the same within their own kind, thinking themselves as superior to others on the basis of existing or self developed criterions. Maybe its not entirely our fault we sort of followed the old ways of our ancestors or a trend without even thinking twice, which became the norm. And this has been continuing since hundreds or thousands of years until now. Which means a majority were and are not ready to think for themselves even today. Maybe because it needs a great deal of common sense.

“If you are born without choices it’s not your fault. But if you die without choices it’s your fault”

Billions of Humans, Billions of Bubbles

Just like we are trapped in a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam called Earth for a small period of time, we are also trapped in a bubble made up of our own limitations and ideologies. Although breaking out of this planet is not possible anytime soon. Breaking out of our bubble is possible right now. A bubble that might have been blown by our parents, relatives, friends or anyone and taken by us as our identity. A majority of us do not want to validate the bubble let alone breaking out of the bubble. I am not telling these are completely our fault. That is how our brain is programmed to be. But later on when we grow up and have the freedom of choice we don’t care either. Thousands of years ago, the time before the human population became civilised and evolved morally, survival was the only goal, hence we did all the barbaric things to survive as we didn’t have a choice, but today we have a choice and with choice comes the responsibility to choose. A lot of the problems in this world will be over if we become more conscious about our thought process and our actions. When we don’t think for ourselves properly and simply follow the crowd we become a disaster and wreak havoc on the planet.

I was born in a very liberal family where I was not forced to be anything except virtuous nor I was forced to pursue anything except for my schooling. Neither was I scared to question any one in my family when I felt things were on the wrong side of the table and sometimes I used to go way beyond the borders to prove my point even when I was very young. My dad took hard but the right actions on me whenever I did anything wrong, but he always kept the communication channel devoid of fear so that I could talk to him about my thoughts on crucial things even when I felt things were unfair or out of place. I remember how dad used to be angry at me yet happy and encouraging for the way I used to stand up against him when I felt things were going unfair and there were times where he even praised me for the way I stood up. Because some way or the other I was able to strongly convey what I wanted to convey and he was remained open to my ideas and valued it irrespective of my age. But then I knew this was not the situation in majority of the households. My friends of the same age wouldn’t even dare to raise a voice against someone elder in their family even if something was wrong, mostly out of fear. Then there are families where children don’t even talk to their parents or vice versa. Most of the time this issue arises because the parents have failed to interact on an emotional level with their children. If we cannot touch a person emotionally then there is no relationship. Human beings no matter what the age will make all sorts of mistakes but if we wear the crown of ego and are ignorant about our mistakes then we are heading for a disaster. Parents should be more receptive of their children’s thought process. Children should never be afraid to speak their heart out to their parents. There should always be a smooth communication between parents and children, so that children finds a best friend in their parents. This stands true for all sorts of relationships. Me and my mom have different sets of ideologies. We follow and like different things. But we always talk with each other on things starting from technology to politics to everything we know of. We both would then try to learn things from each other as well as rectify each other by debating on topics when we felt there was something wrong in the way we saw or did things. There was no question of superiority here.

Age has been a factor of maturity because the society believes “More the years spent on this planet, more the experienced the person is”. I don’t know about all the countries out there, but like I previously said from what I have seen and heard in Asia, majority of parents would never allow their children to speak up against them let alone taking life decision even after growing up, from choosing a career to life partner and much more. Even the sibling tries to take control of everything which revolves around the young one. Mistakes can happen on both sides, Parents can very well be wrong. But the superior feeling will never allow them to accept it. They are in complete denial mode over the young one’s valid reasoning, from there on it is a show of ego and age. There is a lot for elders to learn from their young ones if they are ready to keep an open mind.

Past, A treasure filled with knowledge and snakes

Most of us are following and learning that which is taught by our parents, that which is taught to them by our grandparents and the list goes all the way back to stone age. This knowledge we have is predominantly from hundreds and thousands of year old thought processes and cultures. Which shows clearly that we don’t want to evolve as humans and we only want to evolve in terms of technology. Most of the culture was there to support those people of those region and of that era. Look at what is happening in the education sector. Education system is nothing more than a joke today. And we have not been conscious about it. We see people protesting and fighting for everything thing unnecessary. But did we ever try to fight for a better education system? Pardon me if am wrong. But I don’t remember one ever taking place. Because today we are blind to that which requires our attention. But we never fail to raise voice against that which hurts our ego. Whatever it is we are fighting against today be it good or bad if we look deep within, somewhere we could see that there is a personal issue or ego hidden in these actions.

“School is a place which tries to make a child talented by not exercising their talents”

If the education system had been reformed in the right way much earlier none of the youth would have suffered like they are suffering now to make a living for themselves or at least the impact would have been very less compared to what it is today. There are a lot of such systems which require our attention. Yes systems are difficult to change. But that is no excuse. We were talking about how we were latched on to our past, this does not mean we should completely ignore the precious knowledge from the past. There are hundreds and thousands of year old findings and teachings which can help us to great extend even now in real life which we must not be ignorant about and give a chance to prove its worth. Drop it if it doesn’t work. Its that simple. Even if we look at our body whatever we are is an accumulation of millions of years of memory, So what we can do is take all that is good and practical from the past and learn from them, implement them while keeping away from those which cannot coexist with the present, any ideology that can harm another living being for the sake of pleasure is poison no matter how divine it has been projected, Conveying whatever knowledge we have in a unified format is very much important so that our future generation are a far more conscious human beings who strive towards unity and peace of this world rather than being broken and lost because of the barriers we have created for them. That which we are going through right now.

How evolution has sadly become one sided

No one is a perfect human being, but we sure can strive to be one. Being human is a never ending process of one’s life. Only if we strive we can break our barriers and evolve into something better in every aspects of our life. But today desire to evolve is sadly one sided. Technological advancements can make our life better and help us evolve in various ways, but today more the technological advancements lesser the wish to evolve our self because since we are distracted by a lot of things. All we want is to surf through the internet day in and day out. So many information entering our brain and recycling all kinds of garbage again and again both consciously and unconsciously which is somehow shaping our reality. The effect is slow but very powerful. Here again we have landed in a bubble filled with fake happiness, hatred and false information. when we lay our eyes on something on the internet that is against our values or that which hurts us we get raged and act whilst not taking the time to think it out and finally end up on the wrong side of the road. The same goes for all aspects in our life. People’s hatred towards certain things have made them completely blind towards everything coming from that direction. Now whatever is developed from that direction even if it is good, It will always be taken in the form of hatred and negativity. There are many advantages to the internet if we learn to take control of it and use it for the right purpose, Internet is the most powerful thing today, a tool that can unite an entire planet if we take the right actions. But today what’s actually happening is it is also playing a big part in dividing the planet due to our stupidity. Internet is a two sided weapon and a lot of us are currently using the wrong side of the weapon. The same weapon that is being used to unite this planet is also the same weapon that is being used to divide this planet.

We are feeding our brain so much of internet in exchange for feel good emotions. Consuming both mentally and physically has its toll on us whether that is food or the internet.Today we just want to move through life, we cannot even call it experiencing life. We are just a bunch of beings moving through life waiting for all the happiness to arrive in life when we reach a goal. Goals and happiness have nothing in common and even if there was it is going to be short lived because our desires are ever expanding. Happiness is a state of mind and not a destination. Happiness is in the present. If you think consciously there is no past nor future there is only the present. Don’t live in the past or the future. You can think about them. But never try to live in them. Stop moving through life and start living. There is a huge difference between human being and being human. Break away from your self made bubbles. Be limitless and always aim for blissfulness ! Whatever it is you want to achieve in this life, just make sure you are a conscious and blissful being before you get there.

“If you want to change the home, work for yourself. If you want to change the world, work on yourself”

Software Engineer at FRND